After my dismal showing my first week doing this blog, I've been kind of dreading my next post. Not because I've gained more - I’m actually down* - but because I think I'm having a hard time being accountable to other people about my weight.
Over the past year, only my husband, immediate family and a few friends knew I was actively dieting. Some people would notice that I'd lost weight and mention it, but it really was my thing. And if I decided to blow it all off, and eat an entire tub of ice-cream, the only person who was disappointed in me, was me.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I think people are standing at their computers, wagging their fingers at me when I fall (or jump with both feet) off the wagon. Everyone has been really supportive. But, now that I know people are watching, I think the fear that I'll screw up, and everyone will see, is what's bothering me more than anything. I'd prefer it if just I know if I fail, rather than the whole internet.
It doesn't mean I'm giving up. It’s just another thing I need to work through. So, please bear with me if my posts are kind of short as I'm adjusting to putting it all out there.
*A total of 53.4 lbs since last Mother’s Day
Over the past year, only my husband, immediate family and a few friends knew I was actively dieting. Some people would notice that I'd lost weight and mention it, but it really was my thing. And if I decided to blow it all off, and eat an entire tub of ice-cream, the only person who was disappointed in me, was me.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I think people are standing at their computers, wagging their fingers at me when I fall (or jump with both feet) off the wagon. Everyone has been really supportive. But, now that I know people are watching, I think the fear that I'll screw up, and everyone will see, is what's bothering me more than anything. I'd prefer it if just I know if I fail, rather than the whole internet.
It doesn't mean I'm giving up. It’s just another thing I need to work through. So, please bear with me if my posts are kind of short as I'm adjusting to putting it all out there.
*A total of 53.4 lbs since last Mother’s Day