Whoa..... craziness. So I knew I'd been off the wagon, but didn't realize how long. I just checked my tracker, and it's been almost a month since I've been logging my food WW style. Holy cow.
Ok.... so I know that I seem like a broken record. Let's just say the last several weeks have not been good. I've been stupidly off track. Maybe this is a terrible analogy, but it's like an alcoholic going off on a binger. Any an all sense of reason go out the window. There is totally no physical way I'm going to make my mini-goal. I also know that I've gained weight. Not sure how much to be honest, I haven't been to WW or on the scale lately.
To be honest, there's not much good news. Other than that, here I am. It's 2:41pm, and so far today I've been on track. Planning to workout later today. Sometimes, I think that's the best step. Here I go again. I've caught it before I regained ALL my weight, instead of just some of it.
Rather than re-hasing once again my failures, I'd like to discuss some observations that I've noticed. Almost a month of not working out, eating junk and fast food, and no restraints, I have some interesting insights. Warning, this may be totally TMI for some people:
So basically in a nutshell, being off plan hasn't only affected my weight loss, but my physical, emotional and energy state. It's been drastic. I don't like feeling this way. It's not fun. And what's interesting is that nothing in particular sparked this downward spiral. It was just a small compromise, followed by another, then a bigger one, then totally chaos.
This is one thing I've always struggled with. I'm either totally "on plan" to the point of obsession, and where I can't go out with friends because of the paranoia, or I'm eating 5 candybars and 3 fast food meals a day. I know at some point, I have to mind a middle. Right now, I'm trying to just get back on the straight and narrow. The middle will have to wait. So, back to tracking, back to eating non-crap, back to keeping a tidy living environment, back to being on medication, back to walking. I don't care if it's Christmas, this can't wait any longer. I'd love to hear any suggestions you have for good balance mentally, eating wise or physically. I seem to struggle big time. On or off. Those seem to be my two modes.
Lots of goodness has happened in the last few weeks too! I think I've save some of those life updates for later.
I'm not beating myself up. I can't. Just good refocus and reframe. There is no other choice. Moving on, Lindsey
Ok.... so I know that I seem like a broken record. Let's just say the last several weeks have not been good. I've been stupidly off track. Maybe this is a terrible analogy, but it's like an alcoholic going off on a binger. Any an all sense of reason go out the window. There is totally no physical way I'm going to make my mini-goal. I also know that I've gained weight. Not sure how much to be honest, I haven't been to WW or on the scale lately.
To be honest, there's not much good news. Other than that, here I am. It's 2:41pm, and so far today I've been on track. Planning to workout later today. Sometimes, I think that's the best step. Here I go again. I've caught it before I regained ALL my weight, instead of just some of it.
Rather than re-hasing once again my failures, I'd like to discuss some observations that I've noticed. Almost a month of not working out, eating junk and fast food, and no restraints, I have some interesting insights. Warning, this may be totally TMI for some people:
- Since not drinking water (and drinking sugar pop) my face has totally freaking out. Breakouts, dry, grossness. I feel like a teenager.
- Freedom in some areas is not freeing. A lack of restraint hasn't left me feeling good or liberated. It makes me feel stressed. Accountability, and answering to it, makes me feel victorious.
- My energy has totally sucked. I feel tired, even when I've slept. Part of this is my schedule has been totally whacked, but even so. I feel like an old woman who just wants to sleep all the time.
- When I don't have a good set schedule, my productivity takes a nose dive.
- I have felt really depressed lately. Just down about many things, for no good reason. Mood swings, and just a general feeling of dissatisfaction. No good reason or rhyme- and Im typically and pretty upbeat person.
- My living is tied to my emotional state. My room and living quarters have been a disaster, which makes me non-motivated to do.... anything.
- (warning- gross) So I sometimes have some pretty serious stomach issues. I've never bothered to go to a doctor, it's always something I've just put up with. I'll eat and then have some pretty serious bathroom time, sometimes multiple times over a period of a few hours. When I went off plan (first day was Thanksgiving), I instantly got super sick. It occurred to me, that when I've been on plan, I had NO issues. None. Not once. Since being off kilter, I've had multiple issues. Many times.
- People say eating healthy is costly- holy cow they don't eat fast food. My budget has been DYING because of all the fast food, and stops and gas stations for snacks.
So basically in a nutshell, being off plan hasn't only affected my weight loss, but my physical, emotional and energy state. It's been drastic. I don't like feeling this way. It's not fun. And what's interesting is that nothing in particular sparked this downward spiral. It was just a small compromise, followed by another, then a bigger one, then totally chaos.
This is one thing I've always struggled with. I'm either totally "on plan" to the point of obsession, and where I can't go out with friends because of the paranoia, or I'm eating 5 candybars and 3 fast food meals a day. I know at some point, I have to mind a middle. Right now, I'm trying to just get back on the straight and narrow. The middle will have to wait. So, back to tracking, back to eating non-crap, back to keeping a tidy living environment, back to being on medication, back to walking. I don't care if it's Christmas, this can't wait any longer. I'd love to hear any suggestions you have for good balance mentally, eating wise or physically. I seem to struggle big time. On or off. Those seem to be my two modes.
Lots of goodness has happened in the last few weeks too! I think I've save some of those life updates for later.
I'm not beating myself up. I can't. Just good refocus and reframe. There is no other choice. Moving on, Lindsey