So here I am on the 29th day streak of eating right and drinking tons of water and tracking absolutely everything I've put in my mouth. I've had two days during this entire time where I've "gone off the reservation" as my DH likes to term it. I've added in a little bit of exercising and am working towards more. And my weight? Yea, it's exactly the same. Not up and not down. This next part may be considered TMI - so you may want to stop reading now. Just sayin'. I have been living with a clear diagnosis of IBS - Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It is an actual diagnosis when they rule out other things like Chrons Disease and Celiac Desease. I've had this diagnosis for over 20 years, but have never had any direction or clarity on how to manage it. For the unknowing - IBS causes severe cramping on a regular basis, urgent diarrhea in some cases, constipation in others, or for those of us lucky few, me included, we get both. You search for a pattern without finding one, desperate for correlations only to come up empty handed. You're not really lactose intolerant, you're dairy intolerant - which means even things like yogurt, which actually is lactose free but IS dairy, can set you off. Even the ones they advertise to make you "regular". In the quest to loose weight, you add in whole grains, only to find out that you can't digest them at all, and shouldn't really be eating them. Sometimes you can go a day or two feeling completely normal. You can have a steak and ice cream and feel fine. The next time you eat a steak and ice cream, you're down for the count. You're stopping on the way home from the restaurant that is 15 minutes away, at a gas station because you can't make it all the way home. It is a physiological problem, but is often dismissed as a psychological problem. New information suggests a broken link between the brain and the gut that contributes to the episodes. And people suffer to varying degrees; from person to person, and in their own lives, from moment to moment. And of course, no one wants to talk about it. It's embarrassing. It ruins lives. I've read of people becoming so depressed they become reclusive, refuse to leave their own home, even contemplate suicide. With the stress the last two years have been handing me, my episodes have become more frequent, and more intense. It has ruined (in my opinion) many a weekend outing, has made me miss lunch hour because of the hour I was already away from my desk, and has kept me from loosing weight. I long to be a regular as my sweet dog, who goes once or twice a day everyday. Yes, I'm jealous of my dog. Now the hopeful part of this monologue: I think I've found help. I tripped upon a website this week, and read every single bit of information on it. It is "www.helpforibs.com" in case anyone else out there is in the same boat. I've ordered the book of recipes and eating plan, I've already printed out the "cheat sheet" and am figuring out what to do next. The idea here is that what you eat is important, but the order in which you eat it can make a big difference for those of us with IBS. I should eat my soluble fibers before anything else goes into my gut. I should have insoluble fibers like whole grains, but in moderation, and never without a side of soluble fiber. Ok, I didn't even know what soluble and insoluble fibers were before I read all this. But it makes sense. And interestingly, over the past few months, I've been gravitating towards these soluble fibers without even knowing it. I'm nervous because I feel like I'm putting all my eggs into this basket - but I don't have any other basket to use right now. I've been doing everything right for 29 days and haven't budged an iota. It's frustrating. Phil thinks that once I'm more regular and feeling better on a regular basis, that the weight will come off. It has too. So I need to update my goal here at Getting There. No longer am I shooting for my DH's last birthday, but my own upcoming birthday. And, I'm not looking for a size or a number on the scale anymore. Those will come in time. I need to feel better, which will ease the depression, which will make the good habits I've been practicing over the last 29 days (and will continue to practice) worthwhile. Once the information is here, hopefully this week, I will dedicate myself to two full months of following the eating, exercising, meditating, and focusing plan. I expect to feel much better. I hope that weightloss will result. And after two full months, I will be that much closer to getting there. I'm scared and excited, and thankful as usual for this group of amazing supportive non-judgmental kind folks. My life is about to change dramatically. I'm ready. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
4 Comments
Sheri
3/23/2014 09:12:35 am
I am so excited about this for you! I hope the dietary change makes a big big difference and you get a chance to see the results you've been working so hard for.
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Amanda
3/23/2014 10:14:36 am
Laila, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. But the hope and promise that radiates off of the screen from this post is tangible! I am so anxious for you to start this plan and see if it helps! That is the most important thing. I'm so glad you came upon that website! And I'm so glad to hear from you again!
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Heather
3/23/2014 10:26:13 pm
Hope the stuff you ordered helps! Sounds like you've got some good info. Way to go on a great month!
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Melissa
3/29/2014 02:23:21 am
Sorry I didn't post on this last week. I so hope you're able to find relief. ((hugs))
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In an effort to gain control of some part of her life, Laila has decided the “secretary spread” has gone far enough. Eating well and exercising has come and gone over the years, yet consistency remains elusive. Currently a size 12-14 her goal is to be a firm and confident 8-10 in time for her husband’s birthday, December 22, 2013, and still be there for his next birthday.
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