3/1/12 247.2
2/16/13 170.4
Pounds lost in March: .7
Pounds lost in April: 3.5
Pounds lost in May: 7.0
Pounds lost in June: 7.1
Pounds lost in July: +3.8
Pounds lost in August: 2.0
Pounds lost in September: 2.4
10/4/13 157.8
10/13/13 160.9
10/19/13 161.6
10/27/13 167.8
11/2/13 ?????
Right after I publish this blog, I'll be heading off to my first Weight Watchers meeting in years. I'm scared to get on that scale. My fear is that it'll say I'm 20 pounds heavier than the Wii balance board I've been using since last November. And that I'll come away from that discouraged, having gained 20 pounds mentally if not physically. I'm not ready for it, but I'm going anyway.
I know it's so silly. I expressed this fear to my lovely fellow Getting There bloggers earlier this week, and they were very encouraging and quick to point out that I am not a number. I know that, and yet I've staked my pride on that number for the last year or so. And I know if I am actually in the 180s (that's the decade that's in my head, at least), that doesn't change the fact that my size 10 jeans still fit, even if they've gotten a little tighter in the last couple of weeks, and I still feel cute when I look in the mirror most of the time. So I know, I know, I know... but all the same. Blech.
It is very tempting to be dishonest about it. I'd love to keep on using my wildly erratic Wii scale and reporting flattering numbers. But I've barely been weighing in (apart from my official weigh-in day) over the last few months because I can't lie to myself, because why take the five minutes or so a day to do the weigh in when you can't trust what the scale says? And in the past, the #1 indicator that the wheels are about to come off the cart is when I stop weighing in, when I stop caring what the scale says. Having this blog, knowing you're out there reading, has kept that from happening so far, but I feel it, body, mind and soul- time for a change.
Weight Watchers has been AWESOME for me in the past. I've never transitioned well into maintenance, and have always gained the weight back when I stopped counting points, but I think I've learned a thing or two about maintenance in the last year, and I'm not scared of it anymore. The very fact that I'm recognizing the need for a little more structure right now, before I start to regain any real weight, is a very healthy indicator that I'm in a good spot.
And I'm excited- really, I am. But I'm also frightened of the number the nice lady is going to write down in my little book tomorrow. And I'm frightened to tell it to you, so I'm not going to do that today. But I promise to report back to you next Saturday morning, with that embarrassing number, and hopefully a nice first-week-loss to celebrate.
I'll meet you here next week for some ugly truth telling!