2/16 170.4
2/23 171.5
3/2 168.4
3/9 170.6
3/16 166.7
3/23 167.6
3/30 168.4
4/6 164.2
4/13 162.7
4/20 163.4
This week, seriously. I think the Onion summed it up the best. (That article is not for anyone who is offended by strong language.) The crappy weather, including snow yesterday, was actually the perfect visual accompaniment to the atrocities that just made our hearts and brains and guts hurt this week. And while the events in the news ought to put my own difficulties and anxieties into perspective, they just kind of piled on to wear me down and try to drain me of my joy and hope.
I'm worried about my job. All of my coworkers were let go last week, and I was asked to work seven days a week (six hour shifts) from here on out. I can handle that for now, particularly because it comes with a nice pay raise and I like being done so early every day, but I fear for the stability of the company if they're making dramatic changes like that with virtually no warning. I go into work every day half expecting to see my boss's boss (my boss quit last week) coming around the corner to fire me. I finally really really like the work I'm doing, but I have a sinking feeling it's not going to last. Chris continues to look for his new job. Thinking about both of us being unemployed at the same time gives me the willies.
But there have been a few glimmers of light, in the bigger picture and in my personal gloominess. I love the stories of heroism and the idea of people running toward the explosions to help however they can. I love "looking for the helpers" (as so many have shared with the Mr. Rogers quote going around). I love this:
1. Chris and I got out on the tennis courts for the first time this year, and it felt great. When we got back in the car and I sat down, I noticed how high my heart rate was, and I was genuinely surprised because it didn't feel like exercise.
2. He has been working hard lately to take care of me like a good hub, and one night I was cranky and said "I want chocolate", and he offered to go out and make chocolate happen. But I told him not to make a chocolate run and just went to bed instead.
3. Food was just not really an issue this week... I mean, in a good way. I made good choices by habit without much thought or discipline applied. It was one of those weeks when I just felt like "Okay, this is how I do it now", and could see where I can keep up what I've been doing forever.
4. On a day when the rest of my meals had been light, I splurged on some McDonald's french fries, and I ate like 1/3 of them before deciding it was enough. I promptly rolled up the bag and threw it into the backseat before I could change my mind. The nice thing about having a minivan is that if you throw something in the back, it's back there to stay (sometimes for weeks and weeks, regrettably). No wiggling around and reaching for it at a red light. :)
That's enough for now, I think. Here's to things looking up soon.