3/1/12 247.2
2/16/13 170.4
Pounds lost in March: .7
Pounds lost in April: 3.5
Pounds lost in May: 7.0
Pounds lost in June: 7.1
Pounds lost in July: +3.8
Pounds lost in August: 2.0
9/8/13 160.3
9/15/13 161.4
9/20/13 159.6
9/27/13 158.7
10/4/13 157.8
HOWEVER... this was not a good week. I didn't earn a loss. I ate cake every night (tech week for a play with a birthday party scene), I didn't work out for even one minute, I only got my water in 4 days out of 7, and I had three Egg White Delights. Major backsliding, in other words.
So why did I still lose just under a pound? Good behavior takes some time to catch up with my body- last week was very solid, and I was certainly hoping for more than a .9 pound loss last Friday. So the rest of the loss that I "deserved" last week (if you want to think about it that way, which is not such a great way to think) showed up this week. And this week's bad behavior will likely catch up with me next week.
Understanding this cycle has been the key to my peace of mind, I think. When I was a rookie dieter, this was a common scenario:
Week One
Effort: solid
Weigh-in result: big loss
Typical reaction: "Woo hoo! Off to a great start! Now if I can just lose 7 pounds a week for the next 6 weeks, I'll be in a size 8 by Christmas!!!"
Week Two
Effort: solid, bolstered by the great result from Week One
Weigh-in result: small or no loss
Typical reaction: "Huh. I don't get it. I did the exact same thing as last week."
Week Three
Effort: so-so, discouraged by the small payoff from Week Two
Weigh-in result: big loss
Typical reaction: "Wait a minute- I can eat Cheetos and ice cream several times a week and still lose weight? Awesome!"
Week Four
Effort: very poor. I mean, last week proved that I can eat Cheetos and ice cream and still lose weight!
Weigh-in result: huge gain
Typical reaction: "I give up."
When Week Two's solid effort shows up in Week Three's weigh in, and Week Three's non-existent effort doesn't show up until Week Four, it can get confusing and frustrating.
We'd all love to get to where we want to be overnight, but although the short term benefit would be wonderful, the long term benefit I've gained in slowly plodding along is patience. With my body, with myself, with this whole process. Melissa and I were just discussing tonight how very much it sucks that we're going to struggle with this stuff FOREVER. We're never going to get to a certain point and be like "I have arrived! I laugh in the face of Taco Bell; it has no sway over me- in fact, I find it disgusting!" "This salad? Tastes a million times better to me now than the burger and fries I used to get when I came here." We might think those crazy, crazy thoughts on easy days, in easy moments. But an easy day can turn into a hard one in a split second. I can thoroughly enjoy that salad for lunch and be thinking "It was so easy to make this good choice!" and then eat an unplanned one-thousand calorie dinner. I will always, always want to eat more food than I should. Not at every meal, not every day, but that instinct will never leave me completely and I will grapple with it until I'm a little old lady in a nursing home trying to sweet talk the nurses into bringing me seconds. It's a disease without a cure; it'll never disappear, and the best I can hope for is to manage the flareups.
Viewing this as the forever-struggle that it is... on one hand, it is a grim idea. But on the other hand, having patience with your body, yourself and the process means learning to love even the part of you that is stupid about Taco Bell sometimes. That's the part of you that needs tough love, but it's still love. :)
Speaking of Melissa, you may not know this, but she's a spectacular performer. She and Philip and my Chris and a couple of good buddies, Ed and Linda, are putting on a show this weekend! If you're local and don't have plans for this afternoon (Sunday, October 6th at 2:00), you should come on out. Here is the info!